Today

Today was easier than I expected, but still not easy. Glad the charges were dismissed because he was on his honeymoon and couldn't be there. While it stings a little bit that he is married and on his honeymoon I am so glad he and I never married. I am relieved of that... very much so.

Something very few people know that I don't even know why I am sharing here, but has greatly been on my mind and heart lately. There was something that happened that could have made it so he was part of my life forever, but I have a loving Heavenly Father who blessed me with a way out even though it broke my heart and will leave a hole in my heart forever I am grateful that He is aware of me, my needs, and what is best for me and those involved.

Today, I looked in the mirror and I was taken back. I didn't recognize at first who I saw. There was a pretty woman in the mirror. It was me. There was a happiness in my eyes that hasn't been there for a long time. I was taken back by that and because I actually looked pretty. I have never have thought of myself as pretty, cute or even beautiful. Even as I write this I wonder if the word pretty isn't strong enough to describe how I looked when I seen me in the mirror. It wasn't just how I did my makeup, my new lipstick that plumps up my lips (even though that helps LOL), or my new haircut, but there was a happiness about me that just made me glow. I never have spoken about me like that.

While I am still struggle with the aftermath of my last relationship and every day stresses including health problems I am happy and by golly I looked beautiful even if it was for that brief moment. Even if no one else thinks so or if they think I am crazy oh well. :) Oh well I am happy. I feel good. Even if he refiles I say bring it. I have truth, friends, and so much more on my side. I believe in me and I have faith and hope. Plus I am learning to love me!

Comments

Julia said…
so glad to hear it ws dropped
August 9, 2010 at 5:15 PM
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